Luke 22:31-34 

Two weeks ago I stood up in the pulpit at the 11:00 service, tried speaking, and realized that no one could hear me. So I pulled the mike sending unit out of my pocket (under my robe) and made sure it was on, and it was. I changed a setting, still nothing. Charlie, back at the sound board gave me one of those shrugs, like “I don’t know what’s going on!”  And I’m getting annoyed, I’m thinking ‘These are new, they should work’. Finally, HeyYoung came over and gave me her unit, which I then used. 

Well, after the service I was still wondering what the deal was, determined to track this problem down. First I went into my office, took off my robe…and realized that I was still wearing the unit that goes with the chapel sound system. That mike was on my tie, the unit was in my pocket. I was talking into the one around my ear (attached to a unit on my belt). And after HY came by with hers, I had one unit in my hand, one on my belt, and one in my pocket and two of the thee were turned on.  And I felt kind of stupid. (Someone said that the FAA was getting complaints from some pilots overhead! I believe it!) 

So, that’s just a little context to start today…you know, this is the kind of guy you have leading this organization. (Save the women and children first!)  But have you ever done something and looking back, thought, “I can’t believe I did that!”  Some of those kinds of things are easier to forget than others… 

We were planning on the “No Easy Answers” series to be just four weeks long, so today, being the first weekend before Lent begins, we would go in another direction. But after the first message of this series (Can I Really Forgive?) a number of people independently came to me and specifically asked, “But what about forgiving myself?”  Apparently, that was the topic of conversation in a number of our Wednesday home groups as well, and so I decided to extend our series one week to try and respond to that very important question. 

I guess I should first point out that there is quite a debate going on in the Christian community at large over the legitimacy of the concept of ‘self forgiveness.’  Some are saying that these are not biblical words, and so we should not even talk about this, especially in church. Others say that to talk about ‘self-forgiving’ implies some deep rooted sense of pride, and is really a person’s fishing for consolation or looking to be ‘let off the hook’ by someone else – rather than dealing with God and our own responsibility in a matter as we should. 

Well, there may be some truth in these cautions, but for the most part I think that these are a bit harsh. True, ‘self-forgiveness’ is not per se a Biblical concept (i.e., the Bible doesn’t use these exact words) but I think I understand what people mean when I hear them share their heart with me. When I hear someone referring to a specific deed that they have done in the past (or has been done to them) convinced that this moment has ‘ruined their life’ or worse, someone else’s life… and that there is no possibility of ever making that wrong right – from a human point of view… the guilt can be hard to bear. And we certainly can get ‘stuck’ emotionally and spiritually over such matters. 

I came across an interesting series on the Web called “Tools for Coping”; put out by two psychologists in “Coping.org”.[1]  There is a lot of information on this site, but here’s just a few examples

Signs of the absence of self-forgiveness

• Indifference toward yourself and your needs.
• An emotional vacuum in which little or no emotions are shown or shared.
• Disrespectful treatment of self.
• Self-destructive behaviors.
• Suspicions about others' motives, behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs when they are accepting of you.
• Chronic depression, hostility, sarcasm, and cynicism.
• Unwillingness to change and/or unwillingness to seek the help necessary to change. 

Irrational thinking preventing self-forgiveness

• No one deserved the treatment I dished out, and I do not believe that forgiveness is deserved in this situation.
• I must be inherently evil, and I am despicable. No forgiveness will ever change that.
• Only God can forgive me, though at times I don't believe He can for what I have done.
• What has happened in my life is God's seeking revenge for all the evil I have done in the past.

My question as I read this was, “Are there Christian people who think like this? And the answer to that is ‘yes’. So next, then – “Is this a healthy way to think, is this God pleasing?” and there I believe the answer is clearly, ‘No’. So, maybe the Bible doesn’t use these exact words, but if there are people who are living tortured lives because of a past that they can’t/ won’t let go of; and if any of you are here today, I believe that God has a word for all of you who have ears to hear. 

A few years ago I heard of a man wrote an anonymous note to the IRS with a check attached for $1500. The note said, “20 years ago I cheated on my taxes. I have been living with that guilt ever since, and so I am sending this check today… if I still feel bad later on I will send you the rest.” It would be incomplete to talk about forgiveness of self, without at least recognizing that at times our guilt is real; and just…and that it may actually be God’s gentle voice calling us to accept our responsibilities, to confess our sins, or to make something right that we still have power to change.  But that is not our focus tonight /this morning; that’s a different sermon.

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Because there is another ‘guilt’ that people experience which does not fall into that category. Someone here may be feeling profound guilt over something that you didn’t do, and wish – or think you ‘should’ – have done. [A sin of ‘omission’. But you can’t change it.] You may be feeling guilt by accepting responsibility for someone else’s bad decisions – thinking you could/ should have stopped them; you should have seen this coming, you could have changed the outcome. But you didn’t. 

More likely you may be struggling with something that you have done to someone else, or to yourself; something bad, something that – again - you have no power to change. You feel that you have given this to God – or you’ve tried, anyway… but then you’ve taken it back. And you’ve given it to God… and taken it back again. And you’re stuck in this endless cycle. 

Because you are convinced somewhere in the depth of your mind that this particular deed falls into some special category. It can’t – or shouldn’t – be forgiven. Or, maybe it can be forgiven, but nevertheless we are going to be marked, tainted forever because of it. 

We don’t deserve to be blessed. We don’t deserve happiness. All blessings come with a wet blanket to cover them over, because deep inside you ‘know’ you are not ‘worthy’ of them. 

Well, that kind of thing, as we saw from the Website, has a serious emotional impact on us. But I believe that the primarily issue is not emotional, it is spiritual. Because this pattern is a form of self-hatred, self punishment that grows directly out of a lack of understanding or a lack acceptance of the nature of our amazingly gracious God – the God of Grace and love and compassion and mercy, the God of power and hope, who was revealed to us in Jesus Christ. 

You know, Jesus, and all the Biblical writers accepted the existence of an unseen network of evil that is all around us. And the head of this legion of evil is known in the Scripture primarily by two names: the Devil and Satan. Now, I bring this up because those names have interesting meanings. 

Both of those words are actually both transliterations of Greek words (diabolos and satanos) with significant meanings.  Devil (diabolos) means: the deceiver. Satan (satanos) means: the accuser. 

And those names describe the strategy that the Enemy uses to attack believers. It’s tremendously effective! The Battle is in the mind and it is based on deception and accusation.  Jesus described Satan as the “Father of all lies”. Convincing us that a wrong thought is true, he then accuses us repeatedly on the basis of that wrong thought. Deception and accusation… it can be crippling. 

All these thoughts that we’ve been talking about – “I am evil”, “I have done something unforgivable”. “I can never be happy again”. “I don’t deserve peace”… all of these are lies from the pit of hell.  They are covered with the sulfuric stench of the enemy! They are the ammunition of an Enemy who wants to keep us in a state of spiritual bondage or brokenness. 

The lies are in our minds, or whispered in our ears by those around us. And they may sound convincing – because (as we saw in that Web list they may contain a half truth or so) – but they are still lies. As always, the truth is found in God’s Word… We know what the Enemy says, let’s take a look at what God says… 

• No one deserved the treatment I dished out, and I do not believe that forgiveness is deserved in this situation.

[Forgiveness is never deserved, that’s why it’s called grace! – Ephesians 2:8 - 9

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works so no one can boast.] 

• I must be inherently evil, and I am despicable. No forgiveness will ever change that.

[2 Cor. 5:17 …anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!] 

• Only God can forgive me, though at times I don't believe He can for what I have done.

[Hebrews 7:25] Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. 

We read a few verses a couple of moments ago from the Gospel of Luke. In this chilling little story, Jesus informs Peter – Peter, Jesus’ friend; Peter the “Rock” on which the church would be built – that he was going to deny any knowledge of Jesus before dawn the next morning. Peter not only didn’t accept this, but he swore to Jesus that he was willing to die for him if it ever came to that. 

Of course we know what happened. Before the rooster crowed the next morning Peter had – in the very sight of Jesus – denied knowing him three times. The last time he added some oaths and curses for good measure. 

In the hierarchy of sin, turning your back on your friend Jesus and cursing any connection with him while he is watching you, and being beaten up and humiliated, ranks up there pretty high, wouldn’t you say? This is a bad sin. Interestingly, it’s one of the few stories about anyone that made it into all four Gospels. Poor Peter! 

But only Luke includes something else that Jesus said to Peter that night. He not only predicted the denial, but in verse 31 – 32, Jesus adds, 

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.” 

In the midst of Jesus’ matter-of-fact prediction to Peter that he was going to do something which he felt he was completely incapable of ever doing – Jesus not only told him that he would do it, but he already was looking beyond that moment, and told Peter how even that sin, even that moment could be redeemed. 

“When you have turned to me again… strengthen your brothers.” Take what you learn and help the rest of them. So there was hope for Peter. Now, it wasn’t going to be easy for him. The closing chapter in the Gospel of John is a tender epilogue where Jesus meets with Peter for the first time, post-Resurrection. On the shore of the Sea of Galilee Jesus asks him three times, “Peter, do you love me?”  The third time it says that Peter was hurt when he was asked. But it was part of his healing. Three times denying, three times affirming – “I do love you.”  Jesus is  telling Peter: your life is not over! 

In 1 John 1:9 we read, “If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  Not most unrighteousness, not the majority, not all but the really bad stuff, not all but the things you can’t fix, but all of it. Not “pretty near every sin” but every sin. Every one. Time after time in the Bible we read of God’s unconditional promise: the Blood of Christ is sufficient to cover every sin. 

It cost Jesus his life to make that promise, and it is freely offered to you. Who are we to think that we should hold ourselves to a higher standard than God Almighty? Even someone like Peter could be redeemed.

Even someone like Brennan Manning…. Listen…

[CD clip from Brennan Manning…] 

My friends, there is no sin, no mistake, no bad judgment – the Bible says that there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. No matter where we are or where we’ve been, or what we’ve done, God’s love is with us, and pursues us, it is upon us. That’s a promise. There is nothing that we can do, that when truly given to God in repentance that cannot be redeemed. What God did for Peter and for Brennan Manning, for me, and so many others… God can and will do for you. 

And that’s why grace is so amazing.